Pindah ngeblognya ya ke facebook, id Zuki Satudua :)

9 Habits of Super Positive People

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/10/22/9-habits-of-super-positive-people/

Life is full of positive experiences. Notice them. Notice the sun warming your skin, the small child learning to walk, and the smiling faces around you. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential by reveling in the beauty of these experiences, and letting them inspire you to be the most positive version of YOU.
What would happen if you approached each day intentionally, with a positive attitude? What would happen if you embraced life’s challenges with a smile on your face? What would happen if you surrounded yourself with people who made you better? What would happen if you paused long enough to appreciate it all?
Living a positive life is all about creating positive habits to help you focus on what truly matters. This is the secret of super positive people. Here are nine simple ideas to help you follow in their footsteps.
1.Wake up every morning with the idea that something wonderful is possible today. – Smiling is a healing energy. Always find a reason to smile. It may not add years to your life but will surely add life to your years. A consistent positive attitude is the cheapest ‘fountain of youth.’ You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening, and live like it’s heaven on Earth. Read The How of Happiness.

2.Celebrate your existence. – Your mind is the window through which you see the world. The way to make this the happiest day ever is to think, feel, walk, talk, give, and serve like you are the most fortunate person in the whole world. Open minded, open hearted, and open handed. Nothing more is needed. All is well… and so it is.

3.Appreciate life’s perfect moments. – Your life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments. Don’t let the little things get you down. You’ve got plenty of reasons to look up at the sky and say, “Thank you, I will do my best to make this a great day.” So slow down and pause for a moment to stand in awe of the fact that you are alive, and that you have the ability to rediscover life as the miracle it has always been.

4.Embrace life’s challenges. – Uncharted territory in your life is not good or bad, it just is. Yes, it may rattle your foundation, and you may be tempted to pullback, say you can’t do it, or bail completely. But these are exactly the conditions that set you up for massive amounts of personal growth. Each experience through which you pass operates ultimately for your own good. This is the correct attitude to adopt, and you must be able to see it in this light. Read Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

5.Become addicted to constant and never-ending self improvement. – It doesn’t have to be January 1st to give yourself a chance to make the most out of your life. Every day is a new day to learn, grow, develop your strengths, heal yourself from past regrets, and move forward. Every day gives you a chance to reinvent yourself, to fine-tune who you are, and build on the lessons you have learned. It is never too late to change things that are not working in your life and switch gears. Using today wisely will always help you create a more positive tomorrow.

6.Live and breathe the truth. – It’s the most positive, stress-free way to live, because the truth always reveals itself eventually anyway. So don’t aim to be impressive, aim to be true. Those who are true are truly impressive. Being true means having integrity; and integrity is doing the right thing even when you know nobody is watching.

7.Fill your own bucket. – Choose to be happy for no reason at all. If you are happy for a reason, you could be in trouble, because that reason can get taken away from you. So smile right now because you can right now, and make it a point to fill your own bucket of happiness so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.

8.Help the people around you smile. – Today, give someone one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine they see all day. Sometimes just a single genuine smile or compliment can lift a person’s spirits to new heights. At the right time, a kind word from a stranger, or unexpected encouragement from a friend, can make all the difference in the world. Kindness is free, but it’s priceless. And as you know, what goes around comes around. Read A New Earth.

9.Spend time with positive people. – Life’s way too awesome to waste time with people who don’t treat you right. So surround yourself with people who make you happy and make you smile. People who help you up when you’re down. People who would never take advantage of you. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.

Ten Ways to Get People to Change

Very good writing ... :)


Ten Ways to Get People to Change
by Morten T. Hansen - HBR


How do you get leaders, employees, customers — and even yourself — to change behaviors? Executives can change strategy, products and processes until they're blue in the face, but real change doesn't take hold until people actually change what they do.

I spent the summer reviewing research on this topic. Here is my list of 10 approaches that seem to work.

1. Embrace the power of one. One company I worked with posted 8 values and 12 competencies they wanted employees to practice. The result: Nothing changed. When you have 20 priorities, you have none. Research on multi-tasking reveals that we're not good at it. Focus on one behavior to change at a time. Sequence the change of more than one behavior.

2. Make it sticky. Goal theory has taught us that for goals to be effective, they need to be concrete and measurable. So with behaviors. "Listen actively" is vague and not measurable. "Paraphrase what others said and check for accuracy" is concrete and measurable.

3. Paint a vivid picture. When celebrity chef Jamie Oliver wanted to change the eating habits of kids at a U.S. school, he got their attention with a single, disgusting image: A truckload of pure animal fat (see photo). When Oliver taught an obese kid to cook, he showed how cooking can be "cool" — walking with head up, shoulders back, and a swagger while preparing food. This gave the boy a positive image he could relate to. As Herminia Ibarra outlines in her book Working Identity, imagining new selves can be a powerful force for change. Use stories, metaphors, pictures, and physical objects to paint an ugly image of "where we are now" and a better vision of a glorious new state. This taps into people's emotions, a forceful lever for (or against) change.



4. Activate peer pressure. As social comparison theory shows, we look to others in our immediate circle for guidance for what are acceptable behaviors. Peers can set expectations, shame us or provide role models. When a banker was told by his boss that he needed to show more "we" and less "me" behaviors, team members observed and called out missteps, such as inappropriate "I" statements. The peer pressure worked. This is also the case for online groups. Ask peers to set expectations and put pressure on one another. Sign up friends on facebook to check in on your behaviors (or use a company network tool).

5. Mobilize the crowd. In this video, would you be the second, the middle or the last person to join the dance? Most people would join somewhere in the middle, at the tipping point. Embracing a new behavior typically follows a diffusion curve — early adopters, safe followers, late-comers. Diffusion theory holds, however, that this is not a random process: Key influencers make it tip. They are often not managers with senior titles but those with the most informal connections and those to whom others look for directions (see ch. 6 in my book Collaboration for these "bridges" in a company network). Get a few early adopters to adopt a behavior, then find and convince the influencers, and then sit back and watch as it goes viral (hopefully).

6. Tweak the situation. How do you get employees to eat healthier food in the company cafeteria? You could educate them about healthy food. Or you could alter the physical flow. Google did just that. Using the cue that people tend to grab what they see first, they stationed the salad bar in front of the room. This and similar techniques are based on the red hot area of behavioral decision theory, which holds that behavioral change can come about by tweaking the situation around the person. You nudge people, not by telling them directly (eat salad!), but indirectly, by shaping their choices. Use different default settings, frame things as losses (not gains), commit in advance and so on.

7. Subtract, not just add. In The Power of Habits, Charles Duhigg tells a great story about a U.S. Army Major stationed in a small town in Iraq. Every so often crowds would gather in the plaza and by the evening rioting would ensue. What to do? Add more troops when the crowd swells? No. Next time the Major had the food stalls removed. When the crowd grew hungry in the evening, there was nothing to eat and the crowd dispersed before a riot could take hold. Change behaviors by removing enablers, triggers and barriers. Managers are so obsessed with what new things to add that they forget the obvious: Subtracting.

8. Dare to link to carrots and sticks (and follow through). This list would not be complete without the traditional HR lever, incentives, in the form of pay, bonus and promotion. In a famous HBS case, a banker at Morgan Stanley is up for promotion. His numbers are great, but he comes up short on the 360-degree review that assessed his behaviors. Tie incentives to both performance and desired behaviors. But, as Dan Pink highlights in Drive, such extrinsic rewards and punishments only work for non-creative behaviors and much less for, say, "innovate outside the box" (see his TED video here).

9. Teach and coach well. Many behaviors have a skill dimension: I may not know how to prioritize work, even though I am motivated to do so. Be a good teacher or coach (or, be a good learner if you're trying to change your own behaviors). This involves practicing the behavior, like a muscle, which is difficult especially for behaviors with a high tacit component (e.g., how to listen well).

10. Hire and fire based on behaviors. The list so far is about changing the person. But there is also selection: Change the composition of the team. Get people who embody the desired behaviors and get rid of those that clearly do not. This is based on theories of role fit: Match strengths (including your current behaviors) to what the job requires. This also goes for you: Fire yourself and find a better job if need be.

These ten principles for changing behaviors are rooted in different theories that are rarely put together: Sharpen the destination (1-3), activate social processes (4 and 5), tweak the situation (6 and 7), and revamp traditional HR levers (8-10).

Why don't we see more successful change in organizations? Because managers use only a few of these levers. Use them all.

Three Ways Leaders Make Emotional Connections

Three Ways Leaders Make Emotional Connections
by Scott Edinger  - HBR     


When I first started working in then-Big Six consulting firm Coopers & Lybrand, the partner I was assigned to was a gentleman named Chris Abramson, and he had an enormous scale of responsibility. Yet whenever I talked with him, which was not that often, he gave me his undivided attention. He talked with me about my goals and my development opportunities. He shared stories about life (both his and mine) outside the office. Even in our short conversations, in which he frequently was directing me to do something, he injected some kind of personal remark or comment.

Chris Abramson excelled in one of the most important — and most misunderstood — of leadership skills: making an emotional connection.

Leadership has everything to do with how you relate to others and the quality and texture of those relationships. The higher up you go in an organization, the less important your technical skills become and the more your interpersonal skills matter. I've seen this confirmed in my work with hundreds of leaders and in reviews of 360-degree feedback data on thousands more.

The ability to make an emotional connection is so often misunderstood because it's not about being emotional or showing emotion. It's about making a human connection — one person to another. Chris Abramson had the ability to connect on that level with me, with teams, with an entire office of over 600 associates — to show us how important we all were to him and that there was more to our relationship than just the job at hand.

He was a natural, but there are some things the rest of us might do to forge these kinds of connections.

1. Like Chris, give people your undivided attention.
This sounds simple, but it's easy to lose sight of. When I feel overloaded in the midst of ringing phones, e-mails by the hundreds, and a gazillion other things to do, I'll sometimes think about how Chris unfailingly engaged with people in this way, and the energy he brought to and created in those interactions as a result. He made us want to do more because we didn't want to let him down.

2. Be aware that emotions are contagious.
Research has shown that a person's mood can be affected even by three degrees of separation from people they don't even know. So imagine your impact in the workplace on those who report to you directly. Whether positive or negative, your emotional state has a significant influence on those you work with, especially when you're the boss. We all have our bad days, but we don't have to multiply their ill effects. If you're feeling particularly anxious or negative, make an effort to quarantine yourself — do more of your administrative tasks, avoid situations that might trigger even more stress, take the afternoon off (you may do more harm staying on the job). On the other hand, when you're feeling especially buoyant, make an effort to spend more time with direct reports, go to more meetings, reach out to others in the organization. Use this time to your advantage and multiply your positive emotions.

3. Develop your sense of extraversion.
Make no mistake, this is easier said (or written) than done, especially if you're naturally an introvert. But if you're a leader, you simply have to develop the ability to reach out to others, engage them in discussion, and actively provide feedback. You're the one who has to be out in front, taking the lead in developing these relationships. Even introverts can muster the energy to do these things and relate to others. (And then, when you're exhausted from it, you can sit quietly with a book.)

As leaders, by definition, we do our work through other people, and yet how easy it is to lose sight of that, to focus on the amount of work — the tasks, the output, the jobs to be completed. The irony is, the more you focus on the quality of those connections, the greater your quantity of output is likely to be.

3 Motivations to Work Hard Everyday

Autonomy: Our desire to direct our own lives. In short: "You probably want to do something interesting, let me get out of your way!"

Mastery: Our urge to get better at stuff.

Purpose: The feeling and intention that we can make a difference in the world.

read more here :)

Hati yang teguh

Ada 5 karakter untuk hati yang teguh kata sang penulis, yakni:


Confidence
Courage
Commitment
Control
Purpose


No matter the circumstances around us, we will need to rely upon the mental toughness we normally look look for in our heroes, not in ourselves.We admire heroes like Robin Hood and James Bond because they embody the characteristics that we’ve valued throughout the ages. Heroes let us feel what it’s like to have the mental toughness to break out of our boring little existence and enter into a much bigger world—one that is full of possibility.

I define a strong mind as having a great capacity to face challenges. Being strong means having the resources, the mental skills, and the physical capabilities to confront difficulties of all kinds. When a person is strong-minded, they have the energy and stamina to face a challenge without being robbed of inner strength.

Mental toughness gives us the courage to grow from the stress we experience in life. It is a mindset comprised of several qualities and attitudes.


BTW, si penulis adalah agen FBI selama 25 tahun. Baca selengkapnya di sini :)

Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal

Fenomena yang ... yang apa ya. Yang pasti terjadi di US dan tidak banyak orang tahu.

Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal


In 2008, Nebraska decriminalized child abandonment. The move was part of a "safe haven" law designed to address increased rates of infanticide in the state. Like other safe haven laws, parents in Nebraska who felt unprepared to care for their babies could drop them off at a designated location without fear of arrest and prosecution. But legislators made a major logistical error: They failed to implement an age limitation for dropped-off children.

Within just weeks of the law passing, parents started dropping off their kids. But here's the rub: None of them were infants. A couple of months in, 36 children had been left in state hospitals and police stations. Twenty-two of the children were over 13 years old. A 51-year-old grandmother dropped off a 12-year-old boy. One father dropped off his entire family -- nine children from ages one to 17. Others drove from neighboring states to drop off their children once they heard that they could abandon them without repercussion.

The Nebraska state government, realizing the tremendous mistake it had made, held a special session of the legislature to rewrite the law in order to add an age limitation. Governor Dave Heineman said the change would "put the focus back on the original intent of these laws, which is saving newborn babies and exempting a parent from prosecution for child abandonment. It should also prevent those outside the state from bringing their children to Nebraska in an attempt to secure services."

baca selengkapnya di sini

Boring is productive?

Good note from Havard Business Review ... Boring is productive.

Why do President Obama and I subject ourselves to such boring routines? Because both of us (especially President Obama!) make many decisions each day — decisions that are far more important to us than what we wear or what we eat for breakfast.

The point is that you should decide what you don't care about and that you should learn how to run those parts of your life "on autopilot." Instead of wasting your mental energy on things that you consider unimportant, save it for those decisions, activities, and people that matter most to you.

Why Google Shouldn’t Have Censored The Anti-Islamic Video

Menarik. Seperti biasa pro kontra .... rasanya ini salah satu contoh jika tonggak-tonggak hidup itu tidak ada (atau dibuat oleh manusia), kita akan selalu berada dalam kebimbangan, keraguan ...

On Wednesday, YouTube announced that it had blocked access to a video showing clips from “The Innocence of the Muslims,” an anti-Islamic film that depicts prophet Mohammed as a philanderer who approves of child abuse, after the film sparked violent protests in Libya and Egypt. It was an extremely unusual move for Google-owned YouTube, which normally adheres to Google’s policy of only censoring content if it violates their Terms of Service or in response to a valid court order.

As Google admitted Friday, despite deciding to block the video in the Middle East, the controversial video was still “clearly within [its] guidelines.” While their goal of trying to tamp down violence may have been sincere, the decision was misguided and opens the door for more censorship in the future.

Thanks to its pro-free speech policy, YouTube and other Google products have become vital platforms for free expression all over the world. When a YouTube user uploads her movie, she can expect that so long as it does not violate the Terms of Service or the law, it will stay up. Because Google has chosen not to mediate content, there is room for all kinds of speech on YouTube — for unpopular speech, for voices of dissent, for speaking truth to power, for ugly and disturbing speech, and for cute cat videos. When Google turns its back on those policies, however temporarily, it is up to civil society to take notice and hold them accountable.

Berita selengkapnya ...

Why are Muslims so Serious About Their Prophet?

Tulisan bagus ... dan bahasa Inggris. Cuocok dikasih ke bule kalau mau mengerti perspektif kita sebagai muslim.

One of the most bewildering things for non-Muslims, especially in the West, is the utter less than zero tolerance of Muslims for anything that could be deemed as disrespectful towards the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. What makes it more puzzling is the generally somber reaction a non-Muslim would receive if they made fun of a Muslim’s background or heritage when it’s taken in relation to the reaction received when it’s about the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. In a culture where nothing is sacred, and everything is open game to be ridiculed, the permissibility of all of which falls under the banner of freedom of expression, the “extreme” Muslim reaction to any derogatory remarks about the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is difficult to comprehend.

Selengkapnya ...

5 Everyday Habits That Are Bad For Your Health

1. Lying
2. Eating at your desk
3. Housework
4. Using cash machines 
5. Canceling plans

Simple ... tapi masuk akal. Selengkapnya di sini :)

Six Powerful and Wise Quotes from Theodore Roosevelt

1. “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
2. “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
3. “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
4. “Believe you can and you're halfway there.”
5. “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
6. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.”

Selengkapnya di sini ....

Ragukan keraguan itu ...

Selalu menarik menyaksikan pertandingan olahraga. Permainan, keseriusan, perjuangan, daya tahan, determinasi ....

Buat kita, yang berbeda adalah kita tidak semata mengandalkan otak yang terbatas ini. Ada dJJ SWT tempat kita bertanya untuk semua hal. Tempat meminta, tempat mohon perlindungan.

Eniwei ... selamat membaca :)

What Andy Murray Teaches Us About Self-Doubt and Its Role in Our Success or Failure

Dr Raj Persaud - Huffingtonpost UK

Andy Murray's historic victory appears founded on a mental rather than a physical transformation. Commentators, plus the tennis star himself, have been discussing how his previously hindering self-doubt appears to have been finally conquered.

Many attribute this new self-confidence to his recent Olympic gold medal victory over Roger Federer. It was positive feedback: confirmation of the ability we all knew he had, but did he?

Yet this just deepens the psychological enigma at the heart of this result. The cure for self-doubt appears a confidence-enhancing triumph - but you can't win until you overcome your self-doubt.

Given chronic self-doubt is a common cause of anxiety and depression (women seem to suffer more from it than men); this catch 22 seriously impedes the well-being of millions. It might be the key psychological factor which explains why so many are frustrated in their attempts to achieve relationship, work, career, friends or family goals.

Serious self-doubt predicts failure in life because even when upset or fearful, the confident persist. Doggedness is at the heart of all successful performance - as Andy Murray's own personal journey exemplifies. He kept going despite what was close to becoming a world record for number of appearances in Grand Slam finals without victory.

Self-doubters, in contrast, are quicker to disengage from any task. Elenor Rooseveldt said, "Whether you believe you can or cannot: you are right". Confidence, matched by ability is what works.

One reason for this is self-doubters see upset in the face of difficulty as early signs another failure is inevitable. If feeling stressed is a sign you aren't good enough, then you anxiously turn your attention away from the task at hand, towards the symptoms of upset. You wallow in your despair, rendering it worse because of this focus.

It was intriguing to notice how quickly Andy Murray put behind him various frustrations during the course of the final, as opposed to a previous tendency for grimacing and scowling longer following an upset. He seemed to have learnt what psychologists have long been shouting at the TV during his matches; reframe and move on. Learn from experiences: keep focused.

Those with higher self-confidence as opposed to self-doubters experience less distress when frustrated by an obstacle, because their focus is back on their goal more quickly, and away from any disappointment.

At its very worse, some sufferers from self-doubt begin to doubt their ability to form any judgement about anything. Every thought becomes a circle of obsession over what anything could mean, or what you can ever be certain about.

Charles Carver and Michael Scheier, psychologists based at the University of Miami and Carnegi-Mellon University in the USA, and world authorities on confidence, in an article in the 'International Journal of Educational Research', conclude doubt, 'is a cloud that can hamper the full expression of even the greatest natural ability'.

But now a team of psychologists lead by Aaron Wichman and Gifford Weary from Western Kentucky and Stanford Universities, as well as other institutions, have recently published an intriguing psychological solution to the problem of self-doubt. This is part of a new movement in therapy which is not about simple and quick reassurance that self-doubt is unrealistic and should be abandoned, but instead goes into the specifics of the doubt in more detail.

Their research paper entitled 'Doubting one's doubt: A formula for confidence?' suggested that actively inducing people to doubt, could be better than simple reassurance. Published in the 'Journal of Experimental Social Psychology', the study found that doubters could be encouraged to 'doubt their doubt', which paradoxically made them more confident.

Self-doubters could benefit in some sense from healthy doubt. The psychologists argue the difference between certainty that one is going to fail and concern that one might fail, could be the contrast between hopelessness, and careful preparation for success. They go on to contend that the difference between being certain of one's agonizing insecurity and lack of worth, and being merely uncertain about it, could mean the crucial difference between despair and seeking therapy.

These psychologists conclude sometimes, doubt reduction is best achieved by instilling doubt in one's doubt. In a similar vein Tim Woodman, Sally Akehurst, Lew Hardy and Stuart Beattie from Bangor and Aberystwyth Universities, United Kingdom, have recently published a study on the benefits of doubt entitled, 'Self-confidence and performance: A little self-doubt helps'. The study was inspired by previous research in sports performance, for example studies of pistol shooters and golfers found greater self-confidence was linked with poorer performance.

Published in the academic journal, 'Psychology of Sport and Exercise', the study found inducing a bit of self-doubt produced better performance. The authors conclude high self-confidence is not always the boon it's marketed as. It can lead to risk-taking, complacency, reduced preparation and practice time, producing poorer results.

Women are generally found to suffer more self-doubt than men, despite no difference in ability; precisely why they are often more conscientious and reliable work colleagues. Yet their self-doubt also sometimes inhibits them from taking risks in demonstrating flair, which is unfortunately what often gets noticed and promotion.

It would appear there's a delicate balance over doubt, and that some self-doubt motivates the exertion needed to master challenges. Andy Murray may have been deservedly celebrating his historic success last night, but it didn't seem in danger of turning him into the kind of fist-pumping, high self confidence athlete of an Usain Bolt.

Given we now know there is healthy, as opposed to unhealthy, self-doubt, this is reassuring.

Although his self-doubt prevents him conceding this, it's the strongest possible psychological sign that this Grand Slam win, might, just might, not be Andy Murray's last.

Rindu

ku rindu saat berdesakan untuk mengambil wudhu, sandal
berhimpitan dengan wajah-wajah ikhlas bersih rajin sholat
ramadhan usai, tak perlu lagi berdesakan, antri
ku rindu saat-saat itu, bersama-sama, mencari ridhoNya

Komik Lat

Pagi ini ketemu komik Lat lama, terselip di belantara buku-buku di rumah. Belantara? Iya hehehe ....

Baca-baca ... yang menakjubkan adalah banyaknya detil di buku ini yang rupanya saya belum pernah lihat. Ternyata belajar fotografi membuka banyak hal. Jadi semua detil ditelusuri, dinikmati, diresapi. Sementara rupanya dulu baca komik ya baca tulisannya, lucu .. ketawa .. that's it.

Cuma timbul masalah baru. Satu buku jadi ga kelar-kelar bacanya. Terkagum-kagum sendiri menikmati setiap halaman Lat. Betapa dia ternyata sangat detil, goresannya, ceritanya, penguasaan kertasnya ... bahkan rasanya kita bisa mengenal dia dari coretannya ... tanpa harus membaca tulisan/cerita di komik itu sendiri.

Luar biasa ...

No Name

Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Britain Got Talent 2012

Every now and then I see I part of you I haven’t seen
Birds can swim and fish can fly the road is long I wonder way
One of these days you’ll realize what you mean to me ohhh

Every now and then I see a part of you I’ve never seen
Well I try to talk but I can’t
My soul has turned to steel
This happens every now and then when I try to tell you just how I feel

So if you ever love somebody
You gotta keep them close
When you lose grip of their body
You’ll be falling
Because I’m falling

Deeper in love
In love
Deeper in love
In love
Deeper in love
In love