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4 Reasons You Avoid Self-Improvement

4 Reasons You Avoid Self-Improvement
Steven Handel

Self-improvement and self-change is not something that comes naturally to many people.

In fact, most people are “change averse.” They have a fear of changing their lives, and especially a fear of changing their own self.

So instead of changing or improving the state of their lives, most people would rather just maintain the status quo and play it safe.

There are many different reasons people avoid self-improvement. This article covers some of the biggest hurdles that may block us.

1. You have too much pride

One of the most common things that hinders our self-improvement is that we have too much pride and arrogance.

This is because the word “self-improvement” often implies that there are areas of our life where we aren’t fully satisfied or happy with (or, at the very least, where we think we can do better).

So, to some extent, “self improvement” means that we have to admit that we can do better than our current situation – even if this temporarily hurts our egos.

You can overcome this by recognizing that no one is perfect, and everyone can improve themselves in different ways.

Understand that you are an individual who is always growing and changing, and this is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s only the person that doesn’t pursue self-improvement – who ignores that they can do better in certain areas of their life -  who really has the broken ego in the end.

2. You think there will always be tomorrow

Another problem we face when pursuing self-improvement is that we have a false belief that there will always be tomorrow.

So instead of working to make changes today, we procrastinate and hold off on our goals and dreams.

Unfortunately, if we keep following this pattern, then one day we may wake up and realize our whole life has passed us by, but we never got a chance to do the things that we really wanted to do.

“Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”

Jonathan Safran Foer

 The lesson here is not to wait, but to act now. Don’t let time just pass you by.

Life is remarkably short and tomorrow is never a guarantee. Take advantage of every day you have, and don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to realize the life you’ve always wanted to live.

3. You believe you need to change everything overnight

One of the main things I warn people about in The Science of Self Improvement is the “myth of overnight success.”

We either expect big and immediate changes in our life – or nothing at all. So when things don’t magically get better in a short period of time, we quickly lose our commitment and dedication toward making gradual positive changes.

This is a common trap to fall into, because self-improvement is often small and incremental. We need to work at it for long periods of time before we can look back and see how big of a difference we’ve made.
Instead of searching for magical solutions to your life, focus on small and gradual change. Try to make a bit of progress each and everyday, but realize it’s a long-term commitment.

4. You say you are “too busy”
Last but not least, one of the most common excuses we have is that we are “too busy.”

You want to go to the gym and exercise again, but you just can’t find the time, because you’re too busy running around at work, at home, at school, or doing other errands.

Sure, life can be busy (there’s no denying that), but when you find yourself “too busy” that’s really a sign that you need to reevaluate your priorities.

“Those who think they have no time for health eating will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”

Edward Stanley

Ask yourself, “What’s really important to me?” Then make time for the things you value the most.

What does it take to become an expert at anything?

In 95% of cases natural talent does not determine who will be an expert at something. So what does it take to become the best?

10,000 Hours of Deliberate Practice
It's quantity and quality. You need tons of time spent training but it has to be the right kind of practice. Just showing up is not enough, you need to continually challenge yourself with the right kind of effort. "Deliberate Practice" is a specifically defined term. It involves goal setting, quick feedback, and countless drills to improve skills with an eye on mastery. It is not "just showing up" and, plain and simple, it's not fun. What are the key elements?

• You want practice to be as close to the real challenge as possible. Want to be a boxer? Hitting the bag is not enough. You need to be in a ring, against opponents, like a real match
• Don't be passive. Testing yourself is far better than reviewing.
• Practice is not just repetition. Be ruthlessly critical and keep trying to improve on the constituent elements of the skill.
• Alone time. Top experts are more likely to be introverts. Why? You need alone time to really engage in deliberate practice. Even for team activities, solo practice is vital.
• Practice a lot. It'll likely be 8 weeks before you have a basic level of competency but closer to 10 years before you're an expert. "One factor, and only one factor, predicted how musically accomplished the students were, and that was how much they practiced."
• Know the "Sweet Spot". While practicing, you want to be succeeding on 50-80% of attempts. Fewer than that and you're going to be confused and feel like it's all luck. More success than that and you're not pushing yourself.

Have Grit
Perseverence. Persistence. Plain and simple, you can't get to 10,000 hours if you give up. Researchers have found grit is more predictive of success than IQ in a variety of challenging environments from Ivy League schools to military academies to the National Spelling Bee. And you must commit to the long term. Sounds cliche but it's vital. "With the same amount of practice, the long-term-commitment group outperformed the short-term-commitment group by 400 percent." More on being grittier here and here.

Find A Great Mentor
You want someone who will not go easy on you, who gives quick focused feedback and emphasizes fundamentals. The best coaches use the system of "Explanation, demonstration, imitation, correction, and repetition." More on how to pick the best mentor here.

Focus on the Negative
How often do you hear that recommended? It's true: An eye for the negative makes you more likely to learn from your mistakes. Novices focus on positive feedback ("good job!") because hearing they're doing well helps them stay committed. Experts focus on negative feedback ("You're doing that incorrectly") because they're interested in progress. The shift to focusing on negative feedback is one of the marks of an expert mindset.

Focus on Improvement
When challenged, focus on "getting better" -- not doing well or looking good. Get-better goals increase motivation, make tasks more interesting and replenish energy. When perfectionism is focused on internal goals it's great and enhances performance. When you're trying to impress others, it's a negative.

Fast Feedback
You need to know what is working and what isn't so you can course correct as soon as possible. Whether feedback comes from a boss, a stopwatch, or analytics software you can't get better without it. More here.

It's Worth it
I think it's important to keep in mind that training for expertise does not live in a vacuum. Deliberate Practice is stressful in the moment but brings greater joy later. Using our best skills is one of the most powerful ways to increase happiness. This has been shown time and time again.

Men, Who Needs Them?

Lucu juga, kita disamakan saja dengan binatang. Atau mungkin memang begitu cara berfikirnya?

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk isi neraka Jahanam kebanyakan dari jin dan manusia, mereka mempunyai hati, tetapi tidak dipergunakannya untuk memahami (ayat-ayat Allah) dan mereka mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak dipergunakannya untuk melihat (tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah), dan mereka mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak dipergunakannya untuk mendengar (ayat-ayat Allah). Mereka itu sebagai binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat lagi. Mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai." (QS Al A'raf 7:179)

Men, Who Needs Them?
Greg Hampikian

Mammals are named after their defining characteristic, the glands capable of sustaining a life for years after birth — glands that are functional only in the female. And yet while the term “mammal” is based on an objective analysis of shared traits, the genus name for human beings, Homo, reflects an 18th-century masculine bias in science.

 That bias, however, is becoming harder to sustain, as men become less relevant to both reproduction and parenting. Women aren’t just becoming men’s equals. It’s increasingly clear that “mankind” itself is a gross misnomer: an uninterrupted, intimate and essential maternal connection defines our species.

The central behaviors of mammals revolve around how we bear and raise our young, and humans are the parenting champions of the class. In the United States, for nearly 20 percent of our life span we are considered the legal responsibility of our parents.

Selengkapnya ...

Every Leader Is an Artist

Every Leader Is an Artist
Michael O'Malley - Harvard Business Review

The connection between leadership and art has been made many times over, usually as a way to single out certain properties of the arts that carry over to leadership, such as a jazz musician's ability to create through improvisation. These analogies can be compelling, but my point is more ambitious: leadership is an actual art, not metaphorically an art.

The same attributes that distinguish great from mediocre artists distinguish exceptional leaders from their ordinary counterparts. The best leaders and artists give us perspective on our social condition (good or bad) and greater appreciation of our world, ourselves, and our choices. Moreover, they challenge, excite, comfort, and motivate. They bring us closer together by providing a forum for shared experiences and by forging a sense of community. Leadership and art both animate social encounters. They can change our lives in ways that are as invigorating and real as being hit by a wave.

Artikel selengkapnya ...

android on nikon ... or nikon on android?

Nikon Coolpix S800C, looks like a great device to test out ...

Want to be a Great Leader? Start Reading

Want to Be a Great Leader? Start Reading

Start here ... http://lifehacker.com/5936493/

Rules for Consistent Happiness

My Rules for Consistent Happiness (http://lifehacker.com/5936319/)

Joel Gascoigne

Buffer founder Joel Gascoigne discovered that his productivity habits were best when he was happy. It sounds simple, but faced with multiple projects, deadlines, and personal stress, maintaining positivity can be difficult. Here, Joel shares the habits that keep him consistently feeling good. (Bonus: they also work as anchor activities to restore your happiness level quickly.)

Wake up early

"I get up at 6:00 a.m. every day, even on weekends and vacation, because I love it."

Exercise daily

"We found that people who are more physically active have more pleasant-activated feelings than people who are less active." -Amanda Hyde

Disengage

"The richest, happiest and most productive lives are characterized by the ability to fully engage in the challenge at hand, but also to disengage periodically and seek renewal"- Loehr and Schwarz, The Power of Full Engagement

Regularly help others

Learn new skills

"Being in the moment, focusing completely on a single task, and finding a sense of calm and happiness in your work. Flow is exactly that."- Leo Babaut

Have multiple ways to "win" each day

Complete article on http://lifehacker.com/5936319/

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Ketika ramadhan usai

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mendengar bisik angin, bintang, dan malam

melihat sendiri sang adzan yang berkumandang

di sela-sela cahaya magrib dan subuh

Ketika ramadhan usai

hamba kehilangan saat-saat berdua bersamaMu ya Rabb

saat ketika hamba larut dalam doa
berbagai doa yang dihaturkan semata untukMu

Ya Rabb

Mohon agar kami bisa menjaga ibadah kami

Hati kami

Niat kami

Ya Rabb, kami rindu ramadhan

Yuk iktikaf

Sahabat,

Kamis ini hari ke 20, artinya malamnya malam ke 21
Kita memasuki 10 hari terakhir ramadhan
Hari-hari yang malam ganjilnya waktu turunnya lailatul qadr
Malam yang lebih baik dari seribu bulan

Sahabat, yuk kita isi 10 terakhir ini dengan beriktikaf
Berdiam di mesjid, nikmati rumah dJJ ini
Isi malam dengan tilawah, belajar agama, qiyamul lail,
hingga muhasabah menjelang waktu sahur

Ini waktunya untuk membersihkan diri
Minta ampun atas segala dosa
Tenggelam dalam ayat-ayatNya
Termenung dalam hikmahnya

Ini waktunya berbaur dengan ummat Islam
Sosok-sosok yang kurang tidur, lelah
Kurus, cekung, minim tawa
Namun bermata ikhlas, penuh cahaya

Ini waktunya mengurangi tidur
Meletakkan badan sejenak saja
Ikhlas dengan hidangan yang ada
Bersyukur masih bisa nikmati ramadhan ini

Sahabat, yuk iktikaf
Ini saatnya
Esok kita tidak tahu
Apakah nafas masih akan menyapa kita