Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem

Masjid Negara - Kuala Lumpur

Judul tulisan ini mengambil dari akhir bab prinsip pertama, Be Proactive dari buku 7 Habits Stephen Covey. Paragrafnya secara lengkap …

Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it -- immediately. Don't get into a blaming, accusing mode.

Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be. Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is "out there," stop yourself. That thought is the problem.

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally "being lived." They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society.

We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances.

Knowing that we are responsible -- "response-able" -- is fundamental to effectiveness and to every other habit of effectiveness we will discuss.

Namun bagaimana jika situasinya tidak sekedar hal di atas, tetapi sudah berbeda dengan prinsip-prinsip hidup kita? Tetap harus mencari jalan untuk memperbaiki situasi? Meski rasanya semua jalan sudah ditelusuri dan berakhir dengan tanda JALAN BUNTU?

Yang kemudian teringat adalah kalau menurut Maxwell, nomor pertama dari 21 kualitas dari seorang pemimpin adalah Karakter, jadilah batu karang. Menurut Maxwell bagian dari proses pembelajaran seseorang ialah ketika ia menghadapi suatu krisis, persimpangan jalan, saat dia harus memilih. Biasanya hanya ada 2 pilihan, tetap dengan idealisme, atau berkompromi. Setiap kali ia memilih idealisme, ia akan makin kuat, makin berkarakter, meski katakan hasil pilihan itu membawa dia ke situasi yang negatif (misalnya harus keluar dari suatu pekerjaan karena perbedaan tujuan akhir dsb).

So, apakah ini persimpangan itu? Harus berhenti, merenung, mengkonsolidasikan diri, refleksi, merenung, sebelum kembali melangkahkan kaki menelusuri hidup ini ....