Leadership menurut pengertian Dilbert

Ada yang belum tahu Dilbert? Dilbert adalah komik karangan Scott Adams yang 'bercerita' mengenai kehidupan seputar kantor. Lucu namun agak serius ... setidaknya menurut saya .. :-). So, apa definisi Dilbert mengenai kepemimpinan? Silahkan menyimak ...

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Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership to convince people to do things that either dangerous (like invading other country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).

Obviously you don't need any leadership to lead you to, for example, eat a warm cookie. But you need a lot of leadership to convince you to march to a desert and shoot strangers. Generally speaking, whenever there is leadership, there is lots of hollering and very few warm cookies. Let's enjoy the lack of leadership while we have it.

Unfortunately, whenever there's a void, someone always fills it. We don't want someone evil being the leader, so I recommended filling the job with a cartoonist. I'd be willing to give it a go. Like any leader, I'll try to get people to do things that are dangerous and stupid, but my plan is to make those things funny for the people who aren't directly involved. That's the best you can hope for when it comes to leadership.

For example, I would limit CEO compensation to whatever the CEO can carry away in his cheeks like a squirrel every night.

To shorten business meetings, I would authorize the invention of special chairs that heat up ten degrees for every minute the occupant talks. If you can make your point in one minute, you get a nicely warmed chair. But if you ramble on for forty minutes, you'll burst into flames to the delight and applause of the other attendees.

I would also encourage a modified version of scrabble rules for business meetings. If someone uses an acronym or buzzword that sounds suspicious, you can challenge him to define it. If the offender can't define the word, he loses his job. But if he can, he gets to slap the challenger with an appointment calendar.
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Nggak lucu ya? Buat saya sih lucu (sambil meringis kecut) .....